3. “That bitch ________________________.”

The above sentence can be finished or reorganized in any number of common ways.

“That bitch is stupid.”

“That bitch’s mouth would look a lot better on my dick.”

“Don’t listen to her, she’s just a bitch.”

All of those are things people have actually been said to me.

My impression is that cis-men make these kinds of comments to me with the intention of establishing camaraderie, bringing me into the fold. I think it’s an impulse towards some weird version of intimacy—establishing our common reality as “men.” Unfortunately, the reality described (and produced) by the above comments is not the one I live in. I say “produced” because, for the same reason that saying n*gger in private amongst white people creates enduring racism, making these kinds of disgusting comments about women amongst “just men” (which, as a category, is less coherent when I’m included) creates enduring sexism. Our words become our thoughts, which become our habits.